Saturday, February 9, 2019

Everyday Caffeine

Coffee.
You remind me of coffee.
Freshly ground coffee beans ladled onto a mug with all the strong chicory.
A little warm-to-hot water, and I am already smelling you.
Black, without any sugar.
Quite mainstream, but I prefer to believe that you can only be an acquired taste.
But that much caffeine will not let me sleep at night.

I love you that much.

* Statuatory warning - This is a spiel that needs to be rolled out at the right moment and at the right stage of a relationship. Else this could go horribly wrong

Dairy of a Cow

Hastening to write a few lines
Just to keep you alive in my mind
I now know that it was not just an infatuation
There is more
I am able to filter out the little lust, now that you have been away and I know
Not a day goes by without me wondering if you wanted the same things as I
But acceptance is, that I never had the guts and probably you thought of me as a friend
And then complexity kicked in, along with lesser people to talk to
What a shame
A feeble flame of hope drags n flickers
I.e. if ever paths cross again
And the last thing that I will want to do is hurt our loved ones
Not compromising that one aspect, till such time that the stars align, I know I will have run a thousand stories in my head, without you knowing ione
Sounds like a loser?
Yes, hence losers need to be very careful, lest they lose what they already have, and that's why the turmoil
Things that you don't have control over, how do you deal with? For these are, matters of the mind and not just chemistry. In fact they should have called it physics because it started with matching some wavelength and a hoarse voice
I could go on, but that may not be very productive.
I will visit you again, here.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The need to do nothing.


Everyone's running around in red. pretty girls, not so pretty girls and others. A few men in uniforms stood out in the clutter. There's this TV playing the same old video of DO for the last five hours. I have heard the same phrases over 45 times now. Its irritating. There was a treasure hunt, there's beer on the 11th floor. Groups fighting over not so obvious reasons, photographers and a large group of people who are trying to make a mark - be it at anything.

Its David Ogilvy's birthday today. For some reason though, I am not in a mood to celebrate, or may be because of the fact that it was my Dad's birthday too, yesterday. His birthday, in less than a year he died. I didn’t even feel like having a look at his photograph. Somehow its just still sinking in. Its just been 3 months now.

Its funny to see how no one cares about you. And its amusing that I got atleast six people in this organisation, trained them and made them a part of the system. Today, I am sad and nobody gives a damn. I think I am done with trying to give, but I have my weaknesses too.

When the protective charm over you lifts, you start seeing the entire world with a different lens. And there’s a huge polarization happening here. The zillion faces around me are like positive poles, smiling. And I am the only bloody one with the worst ever frown on my face, creating the black hole that sucks in everything other than happiness.

I am penning down my thoughts because this is my relief. Or maybe, these are lessons.
I would love to celebrate. But I don’t see a known face around. All these years in this place and I don’t have one single friend. How is it worth? Is it me, is it this place, or it is the people, or is it just me again?
Not even one single person who came up to me and asked? Wow! What is anything worth anything? Or is it that I have distanced myself so much from the normal human folks? I am astounded at the volcano of negativity that I sit on.

In the last half an hour, the noise levels have come down. Is it that I am still hearing voices in my mind or people are still giggling? Just got to know that the beer in the canteen is over. I wonder if they really had a happy time.

Or is it that I am just a full cup?
And every bit of life poured onto me is just spilling over.
And yet I am thinking of what I couldn’t be a part of. 

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Life's Good


Its been some time that India and Pakistan got their freedom. things have not really gotten better for the neighbours since then. But I am a staunch believer in humanity. I am sure there are people across the border who are totally oblivious of what their leaders are pushing them into. 

Today Pakistan is a dying country. Politics with vested interests, terrorism, corruption - every bloody thing is rampant. The only thing that the country was somewhat famous for, i.e. cricket, is also no longer that clean.

Under the circumstances, if I were an educated Pakistani, having nothing much to do with the system and the enemity arising out of political agenda, hunger for power, misled will and a neutral perspective to things, what would I do? Will I be ashamed? 

Maybe not. Because in reality, I am unsure if we can take pride.
Let me tell you why. 

Because we are a piece of better educated population. We have more opportunities. There are no water, electricity supply problems in the city homes. Better roads, better security - economy, system of trade, governance etc. etc. - and the worst evolved value system ever.

Read Nitin Gupta's blogs or consider Baba Ramdev's case - you will know why. Isn't the Government stumped when we ask these questions? In a discussion with a friend of mine, we believe that its an issue too big to resolve. All the money for winning elections to making hindi movies come from that stash.
And the funny thing is that the  working class pay tax. I think at times, saalaa hum lagaan dete kisko hain?

Where does a politician accumulate assets from? Who is the actual owner of the Lamborghini that your son drives?

And the funny thing is that we are really not spoilt for choices when it comes to choosing leaders. In fact, I can't see anyone. Is there another group of people who can handle the country better?

Answer it yourselves or don't get involved. It’s called helplessness. 

The same kind of helplessness that a woman faces while trying to fetch a rickshaw in Mumbai. Stranded on the road, drenched in the rain, without an umbrella. Rickshawallas saying no to ply at their whims. And the next guy who has to go a longer distance gets a nod of approval. Are you kidding me? YOU NEED A NOD OF APPROVAL FROM A RICKSHAWALLA? I am not too irate about the fact that a half lakh people in the city employed as rickshawallas can hold a much larger population at ransom. I am more concerned about the attitude of the guy who hired the rickshaw even after the errant driver said 'no' to the person who asked first. In these kind of circumstances, which are repeated every moment in this city, I don’t see the spirit of Mumbai.

I am not proud because I have seen people doing it without thinking twice, and thanking gods that they could fetch a rickshaw while there were so many people waiting.

Its the same kind of helplessness that I had to face when getting my late father's death certificate out. I had the capacity to pay that much, but I didn't. Ask me why and I will say in the situation, it may have made my work almost, but not impossible. But imagine people making money out of the dead. 

Where's the spirit guys?

Who's killing it?... Hawaldaar bhi paise leke receipt nahin dete hain. And what proof do I have?

But do we have an option? or will be become a Pakistan very soon? Aren't we simply letting it grow into a bubble? Because once it does, we will just have to see it getting burst. Kalyug, right! But who cares.
How long are you going to elect netas who will think about you? Why cant you get people who will do the right thing?

Eunuchs do a better job. At least they accept that they are begging at a signal, or are forcefully taking money at child birth. At least, they don’t show attitude while doing it. They are still begging. 

And Tihar jail inmates have been given the privilege of getting their choice of South Indian food. What the fuck is wrong? 2G, CWG, and crores and crores of public money, stashed away outside this country and we are busy making better culinary experiences available to the guilty? 

If it is not possible to aspire for standard things in life, one needs to choose lesser of the two evils - amongst begging and robbing. I rate the Eunuchs higher because at least they are still begging.

Well I support Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev, not because they are backed by BJP and RSS (which may/ may not be true), but because for the first time, these individuals have stood up with real large fans bases. And I want to be a part of it. It’s not the question of being idealistic.  It’s just that if a ’not so worthy’ person doesn't get to toy with the Bentley, the same money can be directed to provide food to the poor. There are so many larger issues at hand.

Help me find an idol guys - If not an honest person, at least an earnest one.
I hope these verses doesn't become a political agenda tomorrow and I can still live to sustain my family. For you never know who gives a damn to whether Ramdev lives or Jyotirmoy Dey dies.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The One.


The One.

Someone asked me, 'Who are you?'
I replied 'Tirthankar.'
The one: and what is that?
I: what of course my hand!
The one: So that hand is yours.
The one: Isn't that leg yours too? the head, the hair, the eyes, nose ...all this is yours , right?
I: well ... of course man!
The one: Well then, if all of this is your's, then what are you?
I: *realisation happening*

The one: We are just custodians of this body. Its on rent. Its going to go back where it came from one day. So is it for all wealth gathered in this life. We are just custodians. All that we can ever leave behind are memories. So be good to people. And you shall find peace. Its your life - choose whether you want to be happy or sad, for it doesn't take more than a heart to be angry. And just the same, to love. May you find yourself very soon.